Grasshopper Notes Blog

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June 13, 2013

Take Two . . .

Filed under: Uncategorized — John Morgan @ 8:02 am

C510787 m I’ve been playing around with the word “react” the past couple of days. I now think of it as two words “re” and “act.”

“Take Two” is a familiar term on the set of a film or video production. That means to re-act the scene.

Another part of my musing on the word “react” is this: Reactions come as quick as lightning. Think of the last time you were surprised by seeing a spider. “Eek!”

Your lizard brain popped out a reaction and you did the same thing you did the time before. That’s an unhyphenated reaction.

When we break the word in two, we get two separate words – “re” and “act.” Think of “re” as rewind. We rewind the video and are about to play the scene over again. “Act” means to take action.

What would happen if between “re” and “act” we took a little pause to consider our action. We then would have the option to play out the scene differently.

Rather than re-act the scene, we give it a new dimension by pausing. That’s what the hyphen represents – a pause in the action.

Now this probably won’t work with my spider example because the reaction is so instant, but what about most other situations where you get an opportunity to employ the dash? Do you have a very familiar, stale, repeating back and forth with someone – a boss, an employee, a parent, child, lover, friend or ex? You know where the conversation will go before it goes there. That’s the time for the dash.

Re-acting a scene takes you nowhere new. When you sense your reaction to a stimulus before you act, you have a dashing opportunity to move out of predictability and create a whole new scene.

The next time you get a chance for a second take, take the opportunity to use the dash and let Take Two work for you.

All the best,

John

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June 11, 2013

The ONE Thing

Filed under: Uncategorized — John Morgan @ 6:05 am

C182666 m Here’s one thing we all get caught up in from time to time – The ONE Thing.

What’s the ONE thing that would make your life different, better, more complete? That’s The ONE Thing we get hung up on.

What we don’t notice is that, even when we get that one thing, it’s anti-climactic. It really didn’t solve all the problems we thought it would and its “oneness” wears away.

Whomever first said that you take yourself wherever you go was a genius. This person knew that The ONE Thing wasn’t going to change you. The drunk that hits a big jackpot on the slot machines is just going to get inebriated with a more expensive brand of alcohol.

No thing is The ONE Thing. That means that no thing will change you for more than a minute. I know the excitement of a brand new camera arriving by an overnight carrier. I also know that the camera will not make me a better photographer.

The ONE Thing is another version of “When I have ________, I’ll be happy.” Did you ever look back and do an assessment on The ONE Things? If you did, you would have noticed that they weren’t a cure-all for what ails you.

The ONE Thing is a mindset that we’ve been conditioned to and we would do well to outgrow it.

There is no job, relationship, amount of money or any one thing that will make you whole. What we don’t realize is that we are already whole but have been convinced that we are missing The One Thing.

I am not saying that The ONE Thing won’t add to your enjoyment of life, it probably will. What it won’t do is complete you because you are already complete. When you seek your completeness outside of you, you overlook the fact that it’s already within you.

That’s why inner discovery is the most productive adventure. Each time you remove a layer of conditioning, you get closer to your completeness. The ONE Thing is a layer of conditioning, that once removed, will give you a better inside view.

Don’t give up on your worldly desires; they do add spice to our lives. Just don’t think, even for one minute, that it will complete you. It can’t and it won’t.

If you like mantras, try this one on for size: I am complete. It will get you to focus on your completeness rather than on the fairy tale that you are missing something.

If you take away ONE Thing from this posting, let it be this: I am already one and no thing will add to me.

All the best,

John

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June 7, 2013

Spiritual or Worldly?

Filed under: Uncategorized — John Morgan @ 7:40 am

C520626 m I offer two types of input: Spiritual and Worldly.

I use the word “input” rather than advice because most people are conditioned to ignore advice. A computer gets input. If it registers, it’s accepted; if it doesn’t, it’s rejected.

The spiritual input falls into the category of getting to know yourself better. That means that you subtract layers of conditioning and discover that you are deeper than those layers.

My worldly input isn’t as deep, but it is useful.

The other day I was on the phone with our seminar coordinator, Hali and we were talking about some 18 year old twins whose mother gave them each a $100 allowance. I inquired why they didn’t have at least a part-time job at that age. She didn’t know. I then offered some worldly “advice”: “She’s conditioning them for a world that doesn’t exist.”

I am not opposed to giving 18 year olds a helping hand; lord knows, others helped me long after that age came and went. But this isn’t about 18 year olds or monetary assistance; it’s about setting ourselves and others up to fail.

What a rude awakening it is to find out that what you thought was the way it worked and the actual way is quite different. Take the graduate of law school. They just spent four years studying one subject: The law. Let’s even pretend they graduated at the top of their class. That means they know a lot about the law. Then they go out and practice it and find out the worldly law is worlds apart from their knowledge base.

On-the-job training accounts for much more than we’ll ever learn in a formal setting. Hands-on training results in our book reviews more closely reflecting the worldly view.

This takes me back to the spiritual. We have to get out of our heads to get more worldly, and, at the same time, deeper.

To become more worldly we have to take life as it comes more often. Our response to what life brings is going to determine the quality of our life, not our storybook game plan that’s subject to all sorts of worldly disappointments.

I believe in planning and have learned that it’s useful to be worldly enough to adopt Plan B or C or D when someone runs your detailed manifesto through the shredder.

Oftentimes, Plan B or C or D is much deeper than your original idea. You would have never gotten there unless you were flexible enough to become more worldly.

You set yourself up for failure when your plans are always in hard cement. The pleasant irony is that you become more spiritual when you become more worldly.

All the best,

John

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June 5, 2013

Unrelative Truth

Filed under: John Morgan's Blog — John Morgan @ 6:44 am

C483636 m We all speak our truth from time to time – The relative truth.

Relative truth is connected to the truth but it’s not the whole truth. It’s like someone holding on to an elephant’s tail and claiming it’s the whole elephant.

“Unrelative Truth” is the whole truth and it’s rarely spoken. That leaves us with lots of confusion, miscommunication and prevarication.

What is Unrelative Truth? It’s the truth that has no opposite. Most people don’t want their truth confused with the facts. If there is an opposite to what you or someone else is claiming to be true, you only have your truth, not THE truth.

The closest most of us come to “Unrelative Truth” is when we parrot reality. “I am writing this sentence at 6:46 a.m. EDT on Wednesday, June 5, 2013″ is reality. If I say, “I am writing a profound sentence at 6:46 a.m. EDT on Wednesday, June 5, 2013,” I only have the relative truth. The minute someone legitimately claims it’s not “profound,” my truth has an opposite and disintegrates.

This is just a reminder to take notice of what you are espousing as the truth. Chances are it has a snowball’s chance in hell to stand up to the heat of opposite.

Please continue to have your opinions because they are the grist that, when tested, get us all closer to the truth. Just don’t claim that your opinion is the truth or you’ll need more tissues for your nose.

Speaking less relative truth will keep your arguments to a minimum and, more importantly, will get you closer to the truth. That last sentence, if you hadn’t noticed, was an opinion. The only way to find out if it’s relatively true for you or not, is to take it for a test drive.

Final opinion: The whole truth, even in court, is rarely spoken.

All the best,

John

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June 4, 2013

In or Out

Filed under: Uncategorized — John Morgan @ 6:36 am

Attention When I was a kid, I know I heard this phrase hundreds of times: In or out! In fact, I’m sure as a parent I’ve used it, at least, that many times.

It wasn’t a question; it was a command to stop coming in and out of the house so frequently. “You’re letting the flies in; in or out!” Pick one and stick with it for awhile was the communication’s intent.

In or out has a new meaning for me now. It’s about my attention. Is it in or is it out?

Once our intellect forms, our attention is in for the most part. That means we do a lot of talking to ourselves in our head. Our attention is inside on our thoughts rather than outside on what’s right in front of us.

You can’t have your attention inside and outside at the same time. It’s one or the other – in or out.

Our attention is like a couch potato; it spends too much time inside. We need to get it out more.

Like many other changes in behavior, it takes some noticing to get the ball rolling. Notice where your attention is. Is it in or out? Once you notice, you can opt for the other.

How often have you heard someone or yourself say, “I can’t stop thinking about it.” Where’s your attention at that moment? It’s inside. The lame prescription usually offered is something like this: “You have to stop thinking about that.” That’s a directive without direction.

Here’s an exercise to do anytime you are trapped inside. Put your attention on anything outside of you. If you are driving in the car and driving yourself crazy with your internal musings, give your attention to the Home Depot sign for a moment. Notice the colors, the shape, the letter spacing. It only takes a split second to notice. Or notice the window or bumper sticker on the car in front of you or the goofy dog with its head hanging out the window. All of these demand that your attention come out.

The benefit is that you have freed yourself from the noise inside, if only for a moment. Shift your attention outward often enough and you’ll break the pattern of staying inside too often. Outward attention gives your mind the relief it needs from an internal pounding.

You will feel lighter the more often you remember to bring your attention out. The next time you notice yourself inside and it’s not a pleasant visit, shift your attention to anything outside of you. That doesn’t mean think about the thing outside of you; that’s just more inside activity. Actually give your full attention to something outside. It could be a cereal box or a bird on a branch – anything outside of you that you can notice with intent. That’s outward attention.

if you really want to find out a lot more about your attention, get to a course with my friend Jerry Stocking. He will get you past the hand holding stage with your attention and have you turn it into a deep relationship.

If you are suffering by your own hand, meaning that you are inside with your dusty thoughts, bring your attention out and notice something, anything. It’s such an easy thing to do and the reward is instant – you get outside of the dread going on inside your head.

All the best,

John

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May 31, 2013

Semantics

Filed under: John Morgan's Blog — John Morgan @ 6:11 am

C507249 m The Grasshopper treated me to a lesson in semantics that wasn’t about semantics.

The next time you are frustrated, angry, upset, or having some other unpleasant sort of moment, make this semantic change: Instead of saying, “I am flummoxed,” say, “My mind is flummoxed.”

Making this slight adjustment immediately locates the part of you that’s going to keep feeding that fire. You cut off the fuel line when you notice that it’s your mind that’s angry, unappreciated, under-loved and over-taxed.

It’s your mind that perpetuates your angst.

There’s nothing wrong with being frustrated etc., but keeping it alive is a choice you get to make. When you say, “I am angry,” you put the option of choice in concrete.

Just noticing that it’s your mind that’s angry, and not you, has you make a distinction that opens a door to relief.

Just think about your last rant. Who was ranting? Was it you or was it your mind? It’s always the thought machine that elongates your uneasiness.

We justify our condition when we say, “I am (fill in the blank).” We begin to rectify our situation when we know it’s our mind that’s keeping it alive.

Noticing and changing the semantics you use is a shortcut to peace of mind.

The mind left unchecked will run amok, and the even worse news is, it’s a long ride.

I’m not offering you a cure-all here, just a bit of semantics to interrupt your train of thought long enough so that you can get off at the next stop.

You’ll take shorter trips to nowhere when you notice and change the semantics you use. If you don’t, you’ll remain The Little Engine That Couldn’t.

All the best,

John

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May 29, 2013

The Burden

Filed under: Uncategorized — John Morgan @ 6:47 am

C274398 m How many times have you said “I was wrong about that”? If you’re anything like me, that phrase sits in a crawl space gathering dust.

But it is springtime and it may be time to inspect rarely used areas and give them a once-over.

We all carry a giant burden that we can lighten. It just takes a little noticing – a mental feather duster if you will. What’s the burden?

Well, if there is a God and he opines to the ethers, I’m certain this would be his lament: “Oh, the burden of always being right.”

Have you ever noticed the weight that attaches itself to being right? If, as they say, the camera adds 10 pounds, being right buckles our knees.

How often do you wait for your moment to say “I told you so”? While you sit waiting for the evidence of your prediction to mount, countless possibilities pass you by. Our investment in being right drains our creativity to find out what’s possible. That’s because we are continually focused on being right and we miss what’s on the other side of our blinders.

Being right is attempting to be God. I’m not suggesting we give up our opinions; I’m simply requesting that we remove the burden of being right from them.

It has an immediate effect. We become lighter. That’s because we don’t have to carry around all the evidence that being right requires. Being right is like keeping track of our lies. We have to remember all the things and circumstances that support our position. It’s like being on the witness stand every day of our life.

We are quick to point out our “rights” and slow on the draw to reveal our wrongs. Reminds me of a story . . .

My step-father used this expression quite often when looking to my mother for confirmation of his prognostications: “Didn’t I call that shot, Lil?”

There were a thousand shots that he took but he only touted the rare hit. We are all a bit like that when we burden ourselves with being right.

What the remedy? Take the right out of your opinions. Right is a deterrent because if you’re right, someone has to be wrong. No one likes being wrong, so when you hold right up in their face, you set the stage for them to be wrong.

Here’s a magic phrase to remove right from an opinion: “Time will tell.”

“Time will tell if that strategy will work or not.”

“I’m not sure that’s the best way to go, but time will tell.”

“I think this new band called ‘The Beatles’ will be a flash in the pan, but time will tell.” (I actually claimed to be right about this one).

When we remove right from our opinions, we open ourselves up to other possibilities – someone else’s right. We don’t have to defend an opinion; but notice that we have to bring out the big guns to protect right. That’s a lot of heavy lifting.

Do a little light housekeeping today and dust off the right from your opinions, and then feel the weight dissipate.

All the best,

John

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May 22, 2013

It Can’t Be Done

Filed under: Uncategorized — John Morgan @ 5:58 am

C505585 m Perhaps I have learned this lesson later in life than most, but a recent discovery for me is that when someone says, “It can’t be done,” quite often they mean, “I don’t want to do it.”

I used to go polar on someone who told me something couldn’t be done, especially if I knew it could. By polar, I mean I immediately jumped to the position of “yes, it can be done” and would get caught up in the argument rather than getting to a solution.

I had an interaction yesterday with an electrician called in to consult on a wiring situation at my house. He told me that what I wanted done couldn’t be done. “I’ve been doing this work for 25 years and you can’t do what you want to do.” I immediately requested that he present me with an alternate solution to my situation. He reached back again for the very comfortable “it can’t be done” line. I knew we were done at that point but . . .

Just for fun and to test my theory, I probed further. After a bit more questioning, he came around to, “I’m not comfortable doing that.” I thanked him for his time and went on to looking for another electrician.

In the interest of honesty and not to waste anyone’s time, consider telling someone that you don’t want to do something vs. making up a dismissive response like “it can’t be done.” People will respect you more and will be able to go on to another solution without engaging in the sideshow of an argument.

“It can’t be done” may be the correct answer, but you would do well to temper it with something like, “In my opinion, it can’t be done” or “Based on my experience, it can’t be done. Maybe someone else can help you accomplish that.”

I now have another response to choose from when someone says, “It can’t be done.” My new response is to avoid the sidetracking argument and to recognize they don’t want to do it and move on.

All the best,

John

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May 17, 2013

Cockamamies

Filed under: John Morgan's Blog — John Morgan @ 7:02 am

Birdman When I was a kid, there were things inside of bubblegum wrappers that were called cockamamies. They were pictures you could transfer to your body by wetting your skin and pressing and holding the picture for a few seconds and then peeling away the cockamamie. It was an early form of temporary tattoos.

I loved them and affixed them all over my arms. They would fade in a day and easily wash off with soap and water. Which reminds me of a story . . .

Years ago, I was working out next to a younger guy at the gym and noticed his tattoo. I asked him, “What did your mother say when you came home with that?” “She didn’t say anything,” he said, “but my father exclaimed in Italian, ‘Wash it off.’”

I am not yet a fan of permanent tattoos; call me middle-fashioned. Middle because the generation before me was into them and the generation today is as well. My generation, not so much.

I will admit that I am a product of my conditioning regarding tattoos and I will also offer this observation: Getting tattoos doesn’t make you less of a person, but if you think of yourself as less than a person, you are more likely to get a tattoo.

Think of the time frame that most tattoos are gotten – teens to early 20s. This is also the age range that military recruitment and girls wearing excessive makeup is at an all time high, not to mention piercings. Coincidence? Not at all.

When you don’t think a lot of yourself, you make additions. The purpose of the addition is to make you the person who you think you’re not. “The military will make a man out of you” is the enticement of the recruiter. They know you are feeling “less than” and use that as an edge. The same is true for cigarette and makeup manufacturers. They target an age group that’s susceptible.

There is a basketball player for the Miami Heat named Chris Andersen, known as “Birdman.” His picture, above, is from Inked Magazine. He, unintentionally, serves as the “bad boy” role model for young boys who are basketball fans. His personal decoration style will cause some young admirers to emulate his lead. There is nothing that can be done about that nor should there be.

Even though this blogpost reveals my current prejudice about tattooing, it’s more about being cautious as an adult when contemplating additions when you’re feeling “less than.”

The promise is that the addition will make you feel more like you want to feel. The feeling will be temporary; the addition may be permanent.

There is nothing “out there” that will make you “more than.” It’s the feeling on the inside that you seek. When you find it, you’ll want to tattoo it to your soul and never want it to wash away.

All the best,

John