Quincy, M.E. was a popular TV show in the mid 70′s that introduced us to forensic pathology.
It showed how this forensic coroner from Los Angeles was actually a detective solving the mystery of people’s deaths. He would follow the clues the body left and come up with stunning conclusions that solved the case.
Seems we need a show about forensic Life-o-logy. It would not detail how we died, but how we stay stuck in this dead end. Life also leaves clues.
We didn’t get to this place by accident or serendipity. There is a trail of bread crumbs to follow that answers the question: “What rabbit hole did you fall down?”
On the surface, Life-o-logy would look like psychology, but it’s more profound than that. Psychology is wonderful in outlining the circumstances that lead to painting yourself in a corner, but our limiting behaviors are more complex than circumstances. It’s like James Allen told us over a hundred years ago, “Circumstances do not make the man, they reveal him.”
Allen went on to tell us in his seminal book, As a Man Thinketh, “He thinks in secret and it comes to pass: Environment is but his looking-glass.”
How we really got to this point is a secret, a mystery. It’s the secret of patterns and how they drive our behavior and don’t care about the reasons we make up for them. They will continue to run no matter how eloquent we are. They are not influenced by explanation, but we keep looking for one. Like Alice, we’re looking down the wrong hole for answers.
We want to explain and justify our patterned behavior. The more time you spend explaining, the darker the dead end gets and the further you are from a solution.
How often do you have to explain yourself? That’s a clue that you’re clueless.
The excuse machine runs on nuclear power and is perpetually in motion. The bypass switch needs to be thrown in order to have a prayer of getting extricated from this dark place. (Think anal canal).
Here’s the clue that you’re on the right path. You start noticing that you are running a pattern of behavior. The minute you attempt to explain it away, blame it on circumstances or someone else, the deeper you will go into the mud. It’s your pattern that got you here, no one else’s.
Notice that you arrived at this dead end destination on purpose. It was the purpose of your conditioned patterns to bring you to where you are right now – not circumstances.
Noticing, taking responsibility for, interrupting and outgrowing your patterns, routines, and way of life is the only way out. When you begin to realize that you have been your own chauffer all along, it’s much easier to pilot yourself back to the highway.
All the best,
PS I request that you visit one of the websites listed below and find a new path to follow.
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