I have an expression that I have used for years. It’s “You can be on my island.”
It’s my version of “You can pack my parachute.”
What kind of people do you want on that island with you? Put the romantic/sexual fantasies aside for a moment and consider who you would really want there in order to survive and thrive.
Would you want a malingerer in the group? A prima donna? A complainer? A “Can’t be done-er”? My guess is they wouldn’t make the cut if you had anything to say about who would be on your island.
I bring this up for two reasons:
- To acknowledge those who make your life more pleasurable.
- To get curious about the people you surround yourself with.
Is there someone who goes unsung that you would deeply miss if they rowed off your island? Let them know before they go. And if they do exit your life, for whatever reason, let them know how much you appreciated them when you were together.
Alternately, is there someone draining the life force out of you and kicking up too much sand for your comfort? Build them a rowboat.
If you have a choice, and you do, wonder about those who get too much of your attention with too little return on investment. Reminds me of a story . . .
Many years ago I was attending a management workshop and the group leader asked this question: “Who do you spend more time with, the people who are winning for you or losing for you?” Sadly, most people answered, “Losing for you.”
He then went on to tell a story about the football coach, Jimmy Johnson. He cited Jimmy’s winning record in college and his two Super Bowl victories with the Dallas Cowboys. He then told us what Jimmy answered when someone asked him this question: “Coach, you have such a great winning percentage wherever you go and your players always seem to be on the same page. Is there some secret formula you use to make that happen?” Jimmy Johnson answered, “Yes, I shoot the losers.”
My friend, Ned Kraft is working on a book called “The Friendship Myth” and in one of the chapters he encourages you to “Fire your friends” – the ones who take too much of your effort.
Luau or Lunch Pail? You decide. It’s your island.
All the best,
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