GrasshopperNotes.com - Thoughts for inspired living


May 11, 2010

Give or Take?

Filed under: John Morgan's Blog — John Morgan @ 6:51 am

We’ve heard it said many times that life is “Give and take.”

As an old song declares, “You’ve got to give a little, take a little, and let your poor heart break a little.”

It seems that some of us want to specialize and be exclusively one way – a giver or a taker. It never works. It seems we were created to be both.

The way I view it, we are here to contribute – give. We are also here to benefit by others’ contributions – take. The imbalance occurs when we stake a claim on one or the other and attempt to make it exclusively what we do.

There are so few pure givers on the earth that we can deduce that they are not responsible for the balance between the two being out of whack. So the onus falls on the takers.

My mother had an expression when describing a taker. She called them a “User.” They would use you to advance their agenda. When they got what they could from you, they would move on to another person to extract some more – never once giving back.

Takers don’t contribute. It’s not like they don’t have anything to give, they’ve just been conditioned into their entitled view of life.

If you only cut down trees and don’t replant them, you can easily see how poorly that strategy contributes to our ongoing, collective existence. But takers never consider scenarios like that as long as there’s enough for them.

A blog post like this will never reach a taker because, frankly, they don’t care and most likely never will.

This writing is for the unbalanced taker in us.

Have you evaluated what you are here to contribute? You have much to give but may be hiding it under a bushel basket. If you are sitting back and taking more than you are giving, you’re out of balance.

I’m considering someone who spends a lot of time online and reads only one viewpoint on a topic. Then they send out emails to others to urge them to get the point. That person is a taker. They have no viewpoint of their own. They just pass on someone else’s. They passively take in what’s said and blindly pass it on. Fact checking is not a strong suit of a taker.

What’s your contribution? Anyone can regurgitate what someone else has said. What do you think?

I have a friend that always quotes someone else – always! I want to know what they think, not what Benjamin Disraeli
thought.

I want to experience their unique contribution and not be treated to a poor imitation of someone else.

You have something to give. Find it!

The light that shines from you will pass through your life experience filters and be a unique contribution that no one else can give. Start sharing your light. Start giving.

Not everyone will take what you have to give nor will you take what everyone else has to offer. That’s the give and take of life. But that process cannot happen unless we are all contributing.

Julia Cameron, author of “The Artist’s Way” uses the term “Shadow Artist.” They walk in the shadow of the artist never casting their own light. That’s a taker.

Taking is a lonely existence.

Engage your curiosity and explore what you have to give and then give it.

When you give, you suck the overabundance of take out of life.

All the best,

John

LOSE WEIGHT & KEEP IT OFF
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SLEEP THROUGH THE NIGHT EVERY NIGHT
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May 6, 2010

Eve

Filed under: John Morgan's Blog — John Morgan @ 8:06 am

I ran into a young woman named Eve who worked in a T-shirt shop in a trendy vacation spot in Massachusetts.

Eve is from a foreign country and speaks English better than most Americans. She has talents well past the skills she’s being compensated for, but she’s failed to recognize them.

She’s not alone.

Eve runs what I called the “Scared Rabbit” pattern.

It’s difficult to put the pattern into words but I instantly recognize it, even when it’s slightly displayed.

“Scared Rabbit” runs from the slightest rustle. They head for a hiding place where they can’t be discovered.

They act like they are prey for just about every obstacle that stands in their way. “Run down the rabbit hole” is their conditioned reaction.

What are they running from?

An idea – a fearful idea.

FAILURE!

They fear failure more than almost anything else.

The idea of success doesn’t outweigh the notion of failure for a scared rabbit.

They prepare for success but engineer what they fear most.

Just so we’re clear, the fear of failure is the fear of what other people will think.

We don’t seem to take the time to notice that we can’t even control the thoughts that pop into our own head, so how are we supposed to control the thoughts of others?

No matter how clear your crystal ball, you’ll never know what others think. You may know how they think, but you’ll never know what they’re thinking.

If rabbits think others will judge them on their inability to accomplish something, they don’t make the effort. They take their skills and run for the hills.

A rabbit requires nurturing. They need to find where they’ve already been successful in life, no matter how minor, and build on that feeling. It’s that feeling that’s going to propel them to push past any imagined or real criticism.

Imagine having the courage as a young woman to leave your own country on your own to go to another country and make it your new home. That action outweighed anything others may have thought of Eve.

Now she has to draw on that that success to take her next step towards the carrot patch.

You can never control what others will think, but you can neutralize that feeling in you by focusing on the successful things you already do.

Scared rabbits have poor memories. They fail to remember their successes. When they begin to stack them one upon another, they form a foundation on which to build another.

If you’ve been running scared because of what others may think, it’s time to take inventory of your successes. It’s this action that gets you past the wagging fingers of failure.

All the best,

John

LOSE WEIGHT & KEEP IT OFF
STOP SMOKING FOREVER
SLEEP THROUGH THE NIGHT EVERY NIGHT
IMPROVE YOUR SELF CONFIDENCE
I LOVE MY BODY
RELAX IN 2 MINUTES
FEEL FOREVER YOUNG
VIRTUAL MASSAGE



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May 4, 2010

Feed The Monster

Filed under: John Morgan's Blog — John Morgan @ 5:34 am

I was reading through a terrific photography book the other day – Captured By The Light.

The author, David Ziser, chats about some advice he got from another photographer/author, Scott Kelby, about the importance of contributing to a blog on a regular basis. Scott said, “If you don’t feed the monster, it will die.”

It struck me how far reaching that statement is.

You can substitute just about any noun for “Monster” and the outcome doesn’t change. Whatever it is will die.

We are conditioned negatively to the word “Monster” so the wisdom may not be readily apparent. Think of your monster as the friendly ogre, Shreck.

Ask yourself any of the following questions:

How’s your relationship, your sex life, your friendships, your occupation, your avocation or your golf game? The answer is in direct proportion to the amount you are feeding it.

Anything will die if you don’t feed it.

It’s simply amazing to me the number of younger men who take erectile dysfunction medication. Lots of it has to do with the inundation of ads about the various products but most of it has to do with waning passion vs. any physical dysfunction. I quote two notables here – Donald Trump & Dr. Ruth.

Trump has said that if you are taking one of these products, you have the wrong woman, and Dr. Ruth has said that sex is more mental than physical.

Waning passion is the result of not feeding it – sexually or otherwise.

Somewhere along the way we stop contributing and before you know it, something is on death’s doorstep.

For example, people who exercise very little or not at all, may look upon it as a sometime thing. That angle of view starves the monster.

Is your career or marriage circling the drain? How much have you been feeding it?

We live the myth that things will take care of themselves. It’s never the case. Once you buy into “Set it and forget it,” you contribute to its demise.

It may be too late to feed your particular monster, but you’ll never know unless you make the effort. This much is for sure, if you do nothing it will die.

Today’s bumper sticker: FEED THE MONSTER!

All the best,

John

LOSE WEIGHT & KEEP IT OFF
STOP SMOKING FOREVER
SLEEP THROUGH THE NIGHT EVERY NIGHT
IMPROVE YOUR SELF CONFIDENCE
I LOVE MY BODY
RELAX IN 2 MINUTES
FEEL FOREVER YOUNG
VIRTUAL MASSAGE



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May 3, 2010

Hatred

Filed under: John Morgan's Blog — John Morgan @ 6:46 am

Your hatred doesn’t die when you do – you pass it on.

When you hate someone, you fear someone. It’s really that basic.

You fear what they can do to you or someone close to you, or perhaps you fear that they can destroy something you believe in.

Fear keeps hatred alive and it gets recycled to the next generation, possibly a bit watered down, but kept alive.

That means if we don’t destroy ourselves in the meantime, some future generation will have hatred diluted enough that it’s no longer a factor.

That’s a long time to wait.

Is there a shortcut?

Yes, but only if you believe in the philosophy that you have to clean up your own corner of the world first.

Peace begins with you.

Maybe we institute a world holiday called, “I Don’t Hate Anybody Today.” Everyone is encouraged to participate. All wars have cease fires, all protestors put down their placards, all divorce attorneys are forgiven (well, that may be going a bit too far, but you get the idea).

How can we find a way to celebrate the personal peace that only we can generate? If we’re focused on peaceful feelings, there’s no room for hatred.

Hatred, through conditioning, takes on a life of its own and it becomes a common way of life for too many. Their life isn’t right unless they hate someone. “Those bastards!”

I wonder if those invested in hatred ever did the arithmetic. If you take time to hate someone or something, you can’t be at peace.

The more you hate, the less peace you enjoy. You cause your own lack of peace, and the personal disharmony it causes, when you choose to hate. Hatred is a choice.

Notice how hatred is embedded in our society. “How goes the battle?” is a common question. My answer to that query is usually some form of, “I’m not fighting with anyone.”

You’re probably not going to get rid of all your hatred before you die, but that really isn’t the goal. It’s not how much less hate can we have; it’s more of a question of: “How much more peace can I enjoy?”

Talk with any savvy physician and you’ll find that people who have to be at odds with others enjoy much less health. Your choice to continue being upset upsets your cart, resulting in not having an apple a day.

Invest in hatred or invest in peace? You decide!

It’s like the old church hymn instructs us, “Let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me.”

All the best,

John

LOSE WEIGHT & KEEP IT OFF
STOP SMOKING FOREVER
SLEEP THROUGH THE NIGHT EVERY NIGHT
IMPROVE YOUR SELF CONFIDENCE
I LOVE MY BODY
RELAX IN 2 MINUTES
FEEL FOREVER YOUNG
VIRTUAL MASSAGE



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