I was watching some old video from my dearly departed mentor, Dr. Dave Dobson and was reminded of how powerful a bonding tool he left us.
Dave called it “Other Than Conscious Communication.” One of the key elements of OTCC is the ability to bond with someone outside of their conscious awareness. It is not some fluffy, philosophical notion; it is a lightning quick, verifiable way to bond with another.
Simply put, this technique involves acknowledging acknowledgement.
All people have behaviors that they exhibit. If you pay attention for just a moment, you’ll be able to see a piece of behavior they display – the way they walk, talk, breathe, arrange their body positions, etc.
For example, their voice has a tone and a cadence, a specific volume and pitch, not to mention an accent. You can take any piece of any behavior and feed it back to a person in the same way they are giving it (tone cadence, volume, pitch, etc.) and, if you pay attention, you will see them acknowledge it. The acknowledgement may come in any number of ways – a quizzical look, a smile, a head tilt, a body or breathing shift or something else. Whatever way it comes, you will notice it if you pay attention. The interesting thing is that their acknowledgement of your feedback goes on outside of their conscious awareness.
The next step completes the bond – Feedback their feedback. If they smile, smile. If they tilt their head, tilt yours the same way. If they shift their body, shift yours in the same way. If they raise their eyebrows, raise yours. You are acknowledging their acknowledgement. It’s like a silent handshake that establishes rapport.
It’s easy to practice and it produces a bond that no conscious Dale Carnegie-like technique can match. I practice it everywhere with strangers – in the supermarket, in airport waiting areas, or just walking the dog. For example, while out walking, I watch the driver of an oncoming car and notice something about them – their body position behind the wheel, the way they hold their gaze, like the furrowing of a brow, or the way they tilt their head. I quickly mimic one of those behaviors. Part of them will notice and do something back. Quite often, in this scenario, it’s a smile or a wave. I just smile or wave back to this total stranger and we have a bond. I can’t tell you how many people wave to me while I’m out walking the dog.
Reminds me of a story . . .
My business partner and I went to New York City in 2004 to meet with a potential client. After the meeting, we walked the busy streets of Manhattan around Times Square. I was silently playing with Dave’s bonding technique as we walked and talked. All of a sudden, my partner asked me what I was doing because he noticed a number of people smiling and waving at me. He knew I was up to something but he didn’t know what. I explained how I was acknowledging their acknowledgement. He was intrigued.
I request that you put this bonding tool in your kit right away. Think of it as an early Christmas gift from me to you – a bonding technique that’s stronger than glue.
All the best,
P.S. There are only 11 shopping days to take advantage of our Incredible Holiday Prices on the Best Selling Hypnosis DVDs and CDs in America at http://JohnMorganSeminars.com
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