Mistakes
I would like to lobby for less use of the word “mistake.” It seems to me that we too often mistakenly use the word when we offer it as a justification or a half-baked apology.
“It was a mistake for me to embezzle from the retirement fund.” It wasn’t a mistake; it was a deliberate action.
“It was a mistake for me to have an affair.” No, it was on purpose.
It will probably never catch on but how about this as a substitute: “I made a reality.” It’s probably not “bumper sticker worthy” but it certainly suggests more responsibility than mistake does.
Ask any prosecutor how many times they’ve heard a version of this at a sentencing hearing: “Your honor, I’ve made a number of mistakes that I am truly sorry for and am seeking the court’s mercy.” You never hear, “Your honor, I am truly sorry for stabbing three people to death and am seeking the court’s mercy.”
It’s a mistake to categorize deliberate deeds as mistakes. If you’re doing it, stop it now. Every time you do so, you appear just as evasive as the politician who won’t answer a direct question.
You may be embarrassed by your actions but calling them mistakes is an embarrassment to reality.
Don’t ever apologize if you don’t mean it, and avoid using the word “mistake” in an apology, unless you accidentally overcharged a customer and are now making restitution.
Mistakes aren’t deliberate. And make no mistake, when you use the word seeking absolution for a deliberate action, you truly are mistaken.
All the best,
John
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