Here’s one sign a relationship is in trouble – When you start giving or receiving serial apologies.

Serial apologies are the universal “tell” that your relationship is on the skids.

Relationship in this context is any association you have with another human being – business, personal, casual or serious. If you are giving or receiving a regular dose of “I’m sorry,” you have the biggest clue that you or this other person will not come through.

Most serial apologizers are lacking in another “A” word – Action!

There is no action taken on the offense they are apologizing for. For example, if you are getting a steady diet of “I’m sorry for being late,” the apology can only be taken seriously if the person takes action to arrive on time.

If apology and action don’t go hand-in-hand, you’ll be dealing with serial apologies.

An apology with an excuse or a justification attached is a warning sign that you’ll be getting that apology again, because the person isn’t really apologizing; they’re stalling until the next time they have to apologize.

Stalling in this context is lying.

How many of your apologies are not genuine? If it’s more than one, you are a serial apologizer.

If you notice serial apologizing in another, it’s useful; if you notice it in yourself, it’s transformative.

Here’s a tip: Don’t be sorry for that which you are not sorry. By doing so, you will interject more honesty into a relationship and keep secret agendas to a minimum. That sort of transparency will help you make sounder decisions about advancing your relationship or not.

If you find yourself continually apologizing, you are attempting to keep secrets that everyone can sense at some level.

Genuine apologies are the closest thing we have to an “Undo” button in life; serial apologies just ensure we’ll do it again.

All the best,

John

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