Letting Go - Grasshopper

How many times have you heard well-meaning people say, “You just have to let go”?

Sounds simple, right?

Even if you do manage to for a while, it won’t last.

That’s because “letting go” doesn’t work the way we think it does. It’s not something you do – it’s something that has to let go of you.

Think of perpetual dieters – Oprah comes to mind. They’ve tried every plan known to man . . . or woman . . . and yes, they get results – temporary ones.

Why? Because they rely on the weakest agent of change out there: willpower.

Willpower’s a sprinter trying to run a marathon. It burns out way before the halfway mark.

So how do we actually start to have something let go of us?

There’s a great approach called the 90-Second Rule, from neuroanatomist Jill Bolte Taylor – she’s an expert on how the brain and nervous system work.

Here’s the gist: an emotional response is a 90-second chemical process in the body. After that, anything you continue to feel is just you replaying the thoughts or fears that triggered it in the first place.

If you can simply observe that emotion – no judgment, no inner chatter – for 90 seconds, it naturally begins to fade. And that opens the door to a calmer, more intentional response.

So when willpower gives out and your emotions start running the show, that’s your cue: use the 90-Second Rule.

Anything you’re trying to release has an emotional grip on you. And it’ll keep holding on – if you let it.

Observing an emotion means giving it its full 90 seconds. Your only job is to watch it – like a neutral bystander – without getting pulled into the story.

Now, some emotions are stubborn, so you may have to use the 90-Second Rule multiple times before they finally run out of gas.

If you want to go deeper into how this works, I heartily recommend Jill Bolte Taylor’s book, My Stroke of Insight. It’s eye-opening – and it’ll show you how to have an emotion truly let go of you.