How Did I Get Here? - Grasshopper

Over half my life I’ve worked in the people-helping business. And I’ve noticed something.

The biggest roadblock to getting where you want to go is this question: “How did I get here?”

It’s a trap.

It keeps you focused on the reasons you’re here, instead of on a plan to get out.

Ask any therapist–they’ll tell you.
Countless clients are hell-bent on retelling the story of their arrival, and spend precious little time thinking about a way forward.

Picture this.

You’re abandoned on a deserted island.
Now imagine spending all your time lamenting how you got there.
Really–how, in God’s name, does that help?

Whether you were shipwrecked, floated in on a raft, parachuted down, rode a camel . . . or took an Uber–
How is that focus getting you off that island?

Sidebar: If your therapist keeps encouraging you to tell that story again and again, you might want to find a new therapist.

Telling your story once or twice can be helpful.
It can offer clues on how not to end up there again.
But beyond that, it’s just a history lesson–one that keeps repeating itself.

When we obsess over how we arrived, the finger of blame usually points outward. Rarely–if ever–does it turn back toward us.

And that’s a tell.

Because no one gets rescued that way.
You’ll just be moaning your tale of woe to the wind and a coconut tree, instead of making a plan to finally set yourself free.

So what’s the escape plan?

Accept where you are–without excuse. Notice I didn’t say resign yourself to staying there.

And once blame is out of the way, make time for reflection.
Quiet moments.
Stillness that leaves room for options.
That’s where creativity lives.

In that calm space, your focus shifts–away from how you arrived and who’s at fault, and toward a direction where you can play a whole new game.

Building a bridge from where you are to where you want to go. That’s your saving grace.

Because telling your story again will only keep you in place.