We Dislike People Most Who Have Imperfections We Pretend We Don’t Have - Grasshopper
There are no perfect people, yet we pretend we’re one of them when we deny our imperfections.
Do you have Facebook friends you don’t like? Me too! You accepted their friend request but continue to wonder why. They post things that offend your sensibilities and then you are critical of their “imperfect” way of thinking.
It never occurs to us that they have the same view of us.
If you do more than a cursory examination of yourself, you will find a version of the same imperfection in you that you see in them, and vice-versa.
The imperfection spots the imperfection. This spotting is kind of like two plumbers at a wedding who don’t know each other but somehow wind up chatting each other up.
What is it you don’t like about this other person? When you answer that question, you will find the part of you that you dislike in you.
When you make this discovery, it can become a spiritual practice to go to work on your own imperfection. Let’s face it, you’re not going to change the other person but you have a far greater chance of changing yourself.
You first have to recognize that your outward persona is not perfect. Here is the conundrum: There is a perfect part of us that can help us make the change.
Deeper than our personality and self-image is a place where all things are equal, living in perfect harmony and, in a word, perfect. It’s up to us to visit that place of harmonious reflection and bring a piece of its peace back with us each time.
This will help us outgrow our imperfection and stop assigning it as a disease to another. When we clean up our own house, we have more compassion for those who haven’t begun the process yet. We see them in a new light and their imperfection doesn’t seem as egregious. Our imperfection has lessened and is no longer spotting imperfection like it once did.
We now begin to focus more on what’s right about them and us rather than what’s wrong. My cousin recently reminded me of a Wayne Dyer story about how a tribe of people dealt with their children who violated a tribal rule. They would put the child in the center of a circle surrounded by tribesmen who would not admonish the child for his misdeed but, rather, individually tell him or her what was special and good about them.
That seems to me a more productive way to go - perfection spotting perfection.
All the best,John
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